I'm writing this down for future reference, you know, in case I got 'lost' within myself again.

Here are my little ways of loving myself more (or in my case, just loving myself):

1. Get some sleep

I stay at home on most nights, but that doesn't unmake me a night person. I stay awake until midnight most of the time because apparently, sleep finds midnight the best time to creep in. So after being alone in the past 4-5 months (when you don't have anyone to have text conversations with til midnight or no one to stay awake to til they get home safe), I've been rewarding myself with ample sleep. Who am I kidding? Most days in the past month, I slept too early because I'm too tired. Still, giving yourself more sleep is a good way to love yourself more. You need enough sleep anyway. 

2. Treat yourself

Okay, I took this treat yourself thing way across the line. I've been treating myself too much ever since I felt I'm borderline depressed. I treat myself too much that I let myself get a coffee worth more than a hundred bucks for three days straight; which is very impractical if you have a coffee vendo in your office pantry. Goodbye New Year's Resolution! I have to remember the true meaning of treat which is simply something not too often. 

3. Dress yourself 

This is very unladylike to say, but there was a time I didn't buy anything for myself. Not even a piece of top I can wear to work. So I've been wearing the same thing. Lately, I've been buying too many clothes, mostly necessities though like jeans and smart casual tops and all. But I haven't been this obsessed again about looking good and presentable. I think I dressed myself better back in college (when I have all the money I need and I never needed to work my ass off for a pair of jeans). I'm just really into shopping lately, and investing more in myself. I'm all for the confidence dressing well brings. 

4. Eat a lot

This is definitely something I have to do so well if I want to love myself more. Everyone knows I'm skinny. Some are even bothered about it. But hold your horses people, I'm doing my best to gain weight. However, loving myself more is not just about eating food. It's also about eating food that I haven't eaten before. You know, trying something new, like a new pizza flavor. I'm a pizza person, what am I supposed to eat?

5. Travel to new places

Okay, this is very premature to say because I haven't been on trip this 2014. I have a lot of plans and places to visit though—Baler, La Union, Cagayan, Palawan, Cebu, Samal Island, Phuket, and hopefully Los Angeles (this one's very impossible right now but who knows?). But I also want to revisit some places too because these have been one of the best places I've been in to—Pagudpud, Vigan, and Hong Kong. I promise to half-fulfill (Is there such a word?) my dream job of becoming a travel blogger too plus the challenge of travelling alone. So wish me all the luck and money I need to be able to visit these places this year. 

6. Find love, even in the least of all places

Find love, even in a hopeless place. Meh. I actually do not know anything about love. Charaught. Kidding aside, everyone needs love, even the most platonic kind. Love doesn't always have to be romantic. Sometimes we just need to feel we are loved by our friends and families. Pero iba pa rin pag romantic. Hahahaha! I actually don't know what to say. I just felt like being open to even the littlest love we can get is also a way of loving ourselves more because we keep ourselves alive. We let ourselves feel a thing. We don't shut ourselves from the most wonderful thing God has ever created. Days back, I told myself to be open to love or pain, just to keep myself away from being numb. So appreciate even the littlest piece of passion and care you can get. 

7. Take pride in what you can do

I've been more of a Jack of All Trades Master of None person than someone who has a definite expertise; which somehow makes me feel small. Yesterday, I did a flyer for a new product of the company I work for. It was just an exercise; something I wouldn't really submit upfront. When a flyer my intern did got rejected and everyone wanted us to come up with a new one but my interns couldn't do overtime, I did the bravest thing of submitting my own work. I work as a Web Editor; never in my educational background include graphic designing. I don't know where I got the courage to submit my own work. I just felt like it's good enough to be considered given the need of producing good collateral despite manpower issues. I mean, you know, you're good at things. Be proud about it. 

8. Try your best to be happy, no matter what

Believe in the saying: this too shall pass. Nothing in my life right now is something I can be happy about. I'm single, I'm underpaid, and apparently unhappy with the way my life is going. I'm hitting 25 this year, and I assume quarter life crisis will definitely kick in. Most days I feel like I want to be somewhere else. Start over in a new town where people don't know my name. But this is what I have in my plate, and it's either I send it all to the bin, or just work my way with it. Everyday, I remind myself I am not good enough. On weekdays, it motivates me. On weekends, it hurts. But no matter how much it hurts, I know that it somehow motivates me. 

So yeah. 

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