For A Long Long Time

Sunday, July 20, 2014

There is something so captivating about the way your hair covers your eyes; like it’s some sort of secrecy only those privileged to know you would know. I have been glancing on your corner every now and then since I sat down on the other side of this well-lit coffee shop we are in. I never liked the coffee they make here, but I kind of like the way you make my stay feel interesting. Has it been months since we’ve been in this café? Was it fifteen or sixteen times we’ve sat on opposite corners without you knowing my growing feelings for you?

You’re drabbling with your paper and pen while constantly peeking outside, looking for an inspiration I suppose or thinking of something that takes your mind away from this place. I hope it was the former, and I sure do hope that one day, you gaze upon my side of the floor and find what you’re looking for. I smiled, alone, perfectly aware that I looked a bit crazy with the thought.  

Why won’t you look at me? I asked myself halfway through emptying my iced macchiato. I’m quite sure the numerous times I’ve stared at you from my seat could possibly enforce some sort of distant mental influence. You know, the feeling of being stared at. And I am perfectly aware that this could be a whole new level of creepiness for you but I still tried. In the countless times we’ve sat here together, I wasn’t successful on getting your attention.

You must be nuts. What a thick wall you have. I thought to myself as I feel the frustration coming down on me. You are either too engulfed with your deep thoughts or you’re just simply overwhelmed by the walls you have built for yourself. You’re impossible.

And so I stared away trying to resist something inevitable to happen. No, this can’t be courage. This isn’t courage trying to tell me that maybe 16 times of staring at you from the distance is enough to make me make a move. This isn’t courage, no. This is a trap, a trap I would gladly fall for, if only there’s a hint of hope that you have noticed me too.

Come on, don’t push me down that road.

I looked back on your corner and you were gone. In an instant, my heart felt a thud. Was I staring into nothingness too long that I barely noticed you stood up and went out? Was I out of my mind that I didn’t even felt you were gone?

Courage. I uttered half-smiling as I empty my cup of iced macchiato and headed out. I took a few seconds to look back and give the coffee shop a last field check. You were indeed gone.  

 “So how does it feel to see something you’ve been wanting all your life just slip away because you won’t do or say anything about it?”

I turned around to the corner where the voice came from. It was you.

“Helpless, I guess.” I answered with a smile I have been trying to keep.

“When you think something is yours for the taking, take it.”

You told me as you handed me a cup of iced tea. You smiled and walked past me leaving me with a stunned expression on how glorious I was to see you up close.

“Can I get your name?"  I muttered.

“I hope that cup of iced tea gives you the courage you're looking for." You answered mockingly as you smile at me one last time and walked away.

“Abby”

I'm gonna love you for a long long time. 

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