But I don’t want to be a burden to you either.

I don’t know what’s more prickling—being a burden to you or knowing that sooner or later, my mere presence won’t have any weight. I have always wanted to have your forgiveness for everything I have caused you, and for anything that made you think you wasted a year of your life on me.

I’ve always waited for the moment when you can finally say to me that you have forgiven me, because I think that’s what’s keeping us from being the better version of ourselves now that our relationship is over. With everything that went down in the past 7 months, the time came when you finally did and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it.

It’s a happy kind of sad. It’s a mixture of everything awful and relieving at the same time. I must admit that it’s something I wanted to happen, but secretly hoping that it won’t. Not in a way that limits all the chances I would have prayed for.

I wish you have stayed, but you told me even before that staying is a decision one has to make every day. And it was so unfortunate for me that one day, you decided not to.